There was a time when I was very stuck in the past at the expense of the present and future and by the time I realised all this it had messed with my thinking. Nowadays I don’t think I live with a thinking bias in any of these directions; I think about each one of them in a lot of depth.
I’ve got an insanely good memory when it comes to things that happened even a very long time ago; I can think back to things that probably should feel blurry now but actually I can remember vividly exactly how I felt and experienced consciousness in that moment. I attach a lot of emotional meaning to things I remember, even the smallest ones. I’ve a weird knack for remembering the exact year when a lot of memories happened without trying to- maybe I have a really chronological mind like that.
I’m acutely aware of the present too- I take in an insane amount of information about subtle things that are happening in a social situation as it’s playing out. It’s like I have a constant radar for figuring out how the people around me must be thinking and feeling. This is a useful skill but also can tend to hype up my social anxiety because sometimes it would be better not to know all these details… or have so many speculations about them, whichever it is.
And I don’t know if it’s starting to become obvious but I’m very much thinking about the future at the moment too. I seem to be having a mid-uni crisis where suddenly it’s going to be my final year of uni starting next September and I’d rather stay right here in this moment and ohnoworkexperiencecareersanxietyohno…
So does this make me well balanced or do I process all three far too deeply?